Take the lows

Supposedly good with words but I can't seem to express this in the most "accurate" way.

Severely scarred and traumatised fighting alone at this war.
Now it's done, peace will come.

I'm not good at dealing with loss, it took a lot of courage for me to end things.
I'm forcing myself through because sometimes, staying strong is the only way out.
I'm constantly trying to do a lot for self-improvement, these five months have been intense.
Just thought that my experiences can shed some light for you.

The first thing I thought of doing was to go to Rachel Chew clinic.
To see doctor Rachel.

I'm not saying that physical beauty is everything but that was all I could think of.
Something I could start with.
Touchwood* my skin doesn't need much fixing, it just needs to be maintained.
I haven't done fillers for quite some time because I don't need them for now.
The flaw I picked out was my smile line.
My face is small and skinny, my skin was saggy because my face isn't full enough.
I did thread lift to fix my problem.
To answer the FAQs, there's a downtime but I bounced back fast.
The left side of my face was swollen but it wasn't obvious as I have a small face.
I only rested one day and I was out to play, I did video shoot 5 days after the thread lift.
There's a mini dent on the left side because my skin was still getting used to the tightening.

You can feel an instant result, the instant tightness in your face.
Depending what result you want to achieve, I didn't want my face to be smaller.
I just wanted tighter skin, so consulting doctor Rachel is important, I'm no doctor.
I also got a mole on my face removed through laser treatment.
It has been about 4 months now, I feel amazing about it.

I've signed up with Fly Project.
I couldn't really commit the past two months because of the crazy schedule.
I went all gung-ho at the gym on the first three months.
I hit the gym 5 times a week, I also did boxing.
Can't wait to get back to it tomorrow, I want to work out at least thrice a week.
I want to tone my body up and I want to maintain that healthy lifestyle.

From Melbourne to New York, then Jaipur.
India is the poorest country I've ever been to so far.
The buildings are all rundown, I didn't see a proper house throughout my trip.
Will blog about India soon.

Reflection: I am rich, I have a lot, I should appreciate and I do.

I always want to put on braces again.
I wasted a lot of time waiting on a singing deal that required being on screen without braces.
Jane got engaged and I decided to not wait anymore because I want to look good on her wedding, lol.
I went for consultation right after I got back from Jaipur.
Sadly, I will need to have my braces on for two years,
won't make it without braces for Jane's wedding.
Many of you want me to share recommendations but tbh,
there are too many recommendations, I don't even know what is good.
I consulted Dr Wong and Partners but I haven't decided if I want to go there yet.
I had my wisdom teeth removed at Segi Dental Department, so I thought of going back there too.

I will start working on this.
I can't seem to cut down on oily food but I'll try.
I got food poisoning last week and I often neglect my "well-being", my body started to retaliate.
I always like to push it through and hoping my body will do its magic on self-recovery.
I thought wrong, my food poisoning got really bad, lol.
My sleep is pretty broken too (which is sad), still trying to fix that.
To those who missed my instastory about this-
I fail to concentrate lately, many friends have complained that I always blank out.
I can't seem to focus when people talk.
I find that I started doing this after my father passed, like my soul isn't in my body
but it got more serious lately.
Meditation is the most popular answer.
I don't think meditation is my thing, I think I meditate enough.
Like you know, going to India and all but it doesn't work for an overthinker like me.
Another popular answer: don't think so much (which is unworkable to me, lol)
More popular answers: Take vitamins, supplements, fish oil, chicken essence++,
exercising, get more sleep, some say I'm just aging.
Side note: I think music works best for me, jumping from LANY to vulgar rap songs.
When the music is on, it relaxes my mind.

Material things
I bought 2 things that I never thought I would/could buy.
It felt kinda cool when I bought them and to find that I could actually buy them, I could actually do it.
I tried the thrill of it but then, I also realized that material things don't make you happy.
What I bought was a few days of proudness and life goes back on.

Moving on

Moving on

Moving on
Welp, you just gotta do it, do things,
DO, just DO.

You know how heartbeat goes up and down while death is a flat line?

To seek for real happiness, is to be able to take the lows.
If I knew how to take the lows in my life, I could conquer my world.
I always thought I'm weak because I can't seem to take the failures in life but I realized that
I'm actually courageous to stand back up after getting knocked down so many times.
The thing is that I keep trying, brave as shit, like a warrior, rawwwwrrrrrrrrrr!!!
This post is honest af, sometimes I don't understand why am I so honest but yeh,
hope I can help, dedicated to all the broken hearts, bless y'all.


  1. I’m broken recently and reading this blog really makes me feel better. Love you xx

  2. I love reading your blog because u are always being so honest! Really thanks for sharing. U never know it means so much to ur readers. Just wish u not to force urself too much, guess time is all u need. Maybe can allow urself to cry and let things out by listening to one emo song if u think u need to. And tell urself to stop after the song ends. ;)

  3. The result is really amazing. You gain a more beautiful outlook and even become healthier.

  4. You look happy.Confident.Nostalgic in a good way.Beautiful as always.All of us see these but if you are not ready to realize these yourself,no matter what people say or do to convince you,it will still be in vain.That's it.


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