Always Been You

Let's talk about my boyfriend.
I thought I'd want to blog it out on our 1st anniversary, yeh anniversary, cliche.
Hmmm, I feel like it today, so I'll just do it.
We met 3years+ ago, we briefly dated for a while.
Well, he was an arse, he still is one now but better (:
Yep, he was the star of all my heart break posts, lollllllollol.
So, we got back together after years.

I've always been in love with this man. Always.
The chemistry between us is perplexedly...wonderful. 
He's a tough man. Harsh. Extremely harsh, sometimes.
Don't really know how to elaborate more but I can share these 3 things he said that
kinda help explain the love and hate I have for him, lol.

He always doesn't clean up after himself.
Dishes, he doesn't even take the dishes to the sink, forget about getting him to wash.
There was this one time, I told him to at least take his dirty plate to the wet kitchen.
He looked at me in a mischievous way and said :
"I thought this is why you're here for?"
I chased him around with a cane.

 He always calls me dumb (which is not entirely true, I'm just slow).
I got annoyed and asked won't he feel ashamed to have a dumb girlfriend.
Why is he still with me if I'm so dumb and he's soooooo smart.
He said :
"I'm with you because you're dumb."
This dick.

He's not expressive, not at all, tough and almost cold blooded, lol.
There was this one night, I clung onto him.
I playfully asked why does he love me.
 He was trying to avoid the question.
Imma tough man, I ain't gon say mushy stuff, come on.
He mumbled "I love you, you love me lah, that's why."
Ya, don't get whut he sayin.
"I love you because you love me.
I love that you love me.
I love that you have a kind heart.+++"
I didn't push it further, I just kissed him good night.
I realized that I didn't need the reasons but (well, it was very nice to hear sometimes).
I think what he meant was he loves the way I love him.
It sounds conditional but it's a satisfying answer to me because...
he's receiving my love.
I'm happy for him receiving my love because I want to love him.
I'm happy that he's letting me to love him.
He's pretty difficult to be loved, lol, but I have plenty of love to give him.
It's bullshit that people say you don't ask for return when you love someone.
I know he loves me too.

It has been a tough year for me.
I want to thank him and his lovely family who 
are so kind to me, who fill me up with benevolence, who take me in as their own.

1 comment:

  1. daph, i have read most, if not all of your blogs today. like the way you expressed your thoughts and everything. keep it on. 💪


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