Life is inappropriate

I haven't blogged for more than two months.
My blog was, is becoming like a cancer blog.
I'm not saying that I don't like talking about my dad but...
I don't know, I don't even know how I feel.
I just don't want to be too sad over something that I can't control but I can't help to feel sad.
I want to vent, I want to shout it out but nothing is going to help!
Thinking if it would be appropriate or inappropriate.
I feel like my rights and my freedom have been stripped off.
I can't do anything at all.

I have supportive friends.
I don't even know what to say to them and I know they don't know what to say to me.
People just feel very sorry about it then we move on.
Everyone moves on.
I'm not going to blame anyone for moving on.
Because life.

I don't know what's going to happen...
in days in weeks in months.
I cancelled all my trips for the following months.

They tell me to be strong.
They call me a strong girl.
They take me as a good influencer.
Tbh, I'm barely hanging on.
I'm losing myself.
I thought work can help me to ease my mind but I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't even feel proud anymore.
I feel awful.

Sometimes I want to shut the world off but I need my family.
I need my boyfriend to be there.
I need my friends.
I want to hang with them.
I need them to make me happy again.
I'm not happy.

I tried so hard.
I'm trying so hard but there's nothing much I can do to help my dad.
I tried and I still try.
God knows how hard I try.
I just want him to be comfortable.
That's all I want now.


  1. No one will understand your feelings right now. But stay strong Daphne. It's okay to be weak and sad now. It's normal to be emotionally down when you feel like losing any of your love ones. You are still the Daphne that everybody love, so just hang on there. Stay strong our strong girl. Good luck and all the best!

  2. I can totally feel you. First is my dad getting cancer and I feel like is the end of the world. He is still undergoing chemo session now and now is my mum's turn. I wondered why it happened to both of my parents. Let's stay strong!


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