Choose Yourself

I often receive emails and messages asking for relationship advice.
They always leave me speechless, I reply if I know how to,
I don't if I just don't know what to say, lol.

I figured something out lately, I want to put it out there for people who don't know.
Maybe I am a little late at giving this advice, lol.
I find that hopeless romantics have a hard time getting over their past relationship.
I also find that hopeless romantics lose themselves in relationships easily.
Have you ever loved someone so much that sometimes, you can't help but to stoop so low
just because you don't want to lose him/her?
Have you ever loved someone so much that he/she treats you like shit but 
you never want to leave because...
"I don't know why but I just really LOVE this person!"

I won't judge because everyone loves differently.
Some people love hard,
some people have unexplainable chemistry together, only the two of them will understand,
some people just have soft heart for douchebags to manipulate...

Love is often a feeling, an affection, love is more often a choice.
Like what I said before, it's easy to fall in love but it's hard to stay in love.
Everyday, you choose to love a person.
 It's a decision everyday, especially for people who are in long-term-relationship.
Sparks die over time but you choose if you want to reignite every minute/every hour/
everyday/every week/every month...
After every argument, do you still choose to love this person?
If an argument is not settled benefiting you, do you still choose to tolerate this person?
Every step is a decision.
The lucky ones  probably choose each other every time to survive LIFE.
The unlucky ones probably don't get chosen by the other half
and lose themselves by giving in all the time.

How to slowly get over a person if you know you're in a toxic relationship but
you just can't seem to find a way to leave?
Don't choose him/her.
Choose yourself over him/her.
Choose something over him/her.
Choose your passion over him/her.

Instead of choosing to hear a hurtful critique from him/her,
why not I choose to hear a compliment from other people?
Instead of driving to see him/her, why not I hit the gym?
I gym to stay healthy/get fit? Don't matter but at least you're doing something for yourself.
Instead of wasting time on refuting, why not I spend more time on new money-making plans.
Instead of going to see someone who's not keen of my companionship, why not I hang out 
with friends who appreciate my sense of humour? 
You're passionate about someone, I'm sure you can find something that you're passionate about.
Music? Sports? Reading? Fashion?

Ain't it common sense? I'm basically saying to love yourself more before you love someone else.
Everyone knows that, it's not a genius idea/advice/solution.
This isn't anything brilliant, you might have known this all along but sometimes,
you need someone to remind you again, to tell you so you put it in mind.
Well, especially those who see me as a good influence/good advisor.
 Your friends may have advised you but guess what? Most of you won't take it in.
You gotta know that
some people are born self-centered, selfish, they naturally know how to love themselves more,

some people are born giving, selfless, self-sacrificing, I'd say predominantly not so good at self-love,
always finding reasons for people they love.

Don't know if it's dumb or naive but don't you be ashamed of being selfless.
Not knowing to love yourself better doesn't mean you have low integrity or love self-esteem.
Bit by bit, learn to love yourself more by choosing people or choosing things
that are good for you.

 Dedicated to someone who's very heartbroken, it's for you if you're reading this, lol.


  1. Hi... may I know why project space is closed? I'm from Perlis. I went there two years ago and loved the vibe.

  2. At the moment of feeling tired loving other, your words just remind me where should I position myself in a relationship. Thanks Daph!

  3. Thank you for this.

  4. Thank You Daphne. Your words your sharing means alot to me now. I love a guy since we were highschool. We had misunderstanding that time which it brokes our friendship and he ghosted me when he found out I actually love him. I still love him now after 6 years. But after reading your blog, I am trying to convince and tell Myself self love is important for me.Thank you and I really like you!


© Daphne Charice DESIGN BY A.