If we know how to love

Bumped into a friend last Sunday.
The cafe was full, so he asked if we would share our table with him.
We did, we too did some catching up and we talked about relationships.
He dated his ex girlfriend for 4-5 years.
I got to know them when they were together, they were so good together.
When they broke up, it was quite a shock to everyone.
The girl is married now, gave birth to an adorable baby girl and moved to Europe. 
He said :
"She was the best girlfriend I've ever had, the best among all my exes.
She was caring, loving, she loved me with all of her.
My business failed years ago, I lost everything.
I had to sell my properties and my car to pay debts, I had nothing.
She didn't leave me, she stuck with me until I got back on my feet.
I still miss her a lot but it's ok, as long as she's happy now."

For a guy to say this, I'm sure that his next girlfriend will be so loved and appreciated.
This man knows how to love now.
People always say you'll learn to appreciate only after you lose something precious.
Sometimes, it's true but not entirely true.
He's unlucky in a way because he's not with her anymore.
He's lucky in a way because she taught him how to love.
Never look down on knowing how to love.
When you know how to love, you can do wonders.

I agree that love is a choice, a relationship is a decision.
Falling in love is too easy but staying in love is tough, it's a mundane thing.
People get bored of trying to stay in love, then they cheat or they just look for another one.
You choose to, you decide to love a person, so you put in the effort to stay in love.
Love is the fundamental thing of all.
Nothing works when there's no love at base, as base.

Material wears out.
Beauty wears out.
Body wears out.

Minds that sync are sexy.

There are so many "perfect" couples around me.
( By perfect, I meant they are extremely compatible.
90% matching because there's no such thing as perfection. )
I'd say that my friends are exceptionally lucky, it's like they were born to find each other.
I always tell them to appreciate and not take it for granted because
it's very hard to find someone who you never want to give up on and
it's even harder to find someone who never gives up on you too.
That's one of the luckiest thing in the world -
to have met the person.

We got fairy tales and romantic stories because people want perfection.
People yearn for perfection, in themselves, in their partner.
Truth is, there is no perfection in this universe.
Our generations are so spoiled nowadays.
We give up on things easily, we get bored easily.
Everything is accessible, it's CONVENIENT.
Say a person is back to being single, ready to mingle, one insta message will do all the work.
You don't even have to go the bar, flirt or buy drinks for anybody.
You just sit in your most comfortable sleepwear and start scrolling through Instagram.
One insta message/facebook message will do.
How hard can it be?
Everything is made so simple, so convenient for us.
The pros and cons of technology.
We lose it, we lose the authenticity of love and human feelings.
Mostly lust, delusion, temptation, obsession, deception ++
It's an endless cycle, getting to know into knowing, into using a person,
mentally and physically, into getting bored, into giving up.
It keeps looping and looping.

It's like nothing goes deeper.
It makes us shallow, so shallow.

So when you find someone who can make you smile by just looking at you.
You find someone who sings that "song" you sing.
You find someone that understands your mind,
she knows, he knows what you're up to even when you don't say it.
You find that person who would drives miles to see you.
You find that person who gets you, who's so compatible, so comfortable to be with.
These things are small things, small gestures, small actions.
They are the things we take for granted nowadays.
We disregard all the tiny gestures.
When you find this person,
YOU HOLD ONTO HIM/HER, never take FATE for granted.
Fate, it's what your God gives you.
Never let go. Who knows you're going to get lucky again.
Never think it's easy to find someone.
It's easy to find lust but it's hard to find someone.

People often give up when they find flaws or imperfections in their partner.
Instead of looking for someone else and looping the cycle.
Why not help make each other the best version of themselves?
Love can do wonders, who knows you might be able to build an empire with him/her?

This world is realistic and people are getting colder, getting more materialistic.
I don't deny it, I appreciate what I have now, I'm grateful with the condition of my life.
People often get blinded by material stuff and money.
I just despise how guys like to label and judge girls as gold diggers nowadays.
It is true sometimes, there are girls who desire for money, branded items and luxury.
If she knows what she wants, she gets what she wants, that's her ability.
If a gold digger is that bad, why and how does a gold digger still get guys?
Because guys love a gold digger too.
To feed their ego or whatever.
Never let your ego grow bigger than your heart.
This shit is getting so real here, tbh, sometimes, I think guys are so contradicting.
Say you look at this girl with perky booty, dress well, great sense of fashion,
carry a branded bag, full make up on, hair on fleek, pretty face.
( You think it's effortless to stay fit?
Who knows she might work out a lot and control on her diet.
Pretty clothes need to be bough.
Full make up on takes effort too.
So why disregard her hard work? Or some people just born with it.
Nobody knows. Gold digger or not? Who gives you the right to judge?)
Back to it, this girl seems more desirable right?
Without even talking to her yet, just plain looking at this girl.
Desirable. Who knows if she's rotten inside or she's a gold digger.
She still got his attention at the first sight, right?
Won't a man feel proud if he has a partner like this?
Won't he want to show the world you're capable of dating a "full package" girl?
Congratulations, a gold digger has just been made because man ALLOWED one, haha!
 You allow a gold digger yet you diss a gold digger.
 You get what I'm saying?
Just like how you feed your ego with luxury, to be envied by others, to be proud.
Even your woman needs to be luxurious, hence a materialistic you get.
Nobody is going to judge you for that, you just gotta shut up and go on with your happy life.
Don't go telling bullshit like
"all the girls now are gold diggers, they just want money bla bla bla"
Contradicting, hypocritical and judgemental.

It's ok to do what you want to, nobody if going to judge you.
You know what you want, that's good, that's cool for you.
BUT when you start blaming other people or when you start blaming the society
for what you're becoming, then it's not right.

How do you know if you genuinely love a person?
I ask myself too.
My partner could be perfect, he has everything that I'm looking for.
How am I sure that I love him for him?
Do this. Hypothetically. Imagine.
If your other half loses everything he has now.
His car, his place to live, his job, his savings ( the basic stuff )
Will you still love him?
When I imagine this, first thing that came to mind was him smiling at me with his eyes squinted.
I think about the jokes he cracks, I think about the way he holds me when we sleep.
I think about how passionate he is about his work ++
Man, I would do everything to stay in love with him and that's my answer.
Again, love is the fundamental thing of all.
When you have love, you have faith.
When you have faith, you have confidence.
When you have confidence, you work things out.
I'm confident with him, that he will stand up again.
I'm confident with me being with him, that he will do better.

If you imagine that, you picture other stuff.
Maybe... Maybe... he's not the one.
You might just be in love with this man because the conditions were right for you.
It's a life-long time, you are going to be with this person for the rest of your life.
If you only love when the conditions are right, you don't sincerely love a person.
It's a lucky thing to feel happy over small gestures.
Like what I said, the way he holds me when we sleep, it gives me butterflies.
The way he gives me a peck(kiss) in public, it makes my knees weak.
The way he cares for me, the way he acts around me, it makes me excited.
These small gestures that make you happy, they are the things that will make
a relationship, a marriage lasts.
If you're not able to feel happy over these little things.
To me, it's sad.
It's sad that you don't FEEL for things like these.
I hope you'll find the greatness in this.

And... guys...  Quality > quantity.
When you decide to give up on your half just because you think you're still young.
You don't want to settle down because you're too young for that shit.Temptations, temptations everywhere.
Like what I said in the previous post, time is slipping away without you realizing and noticing.
People talk about gender equality that boys and girls are the same.
I don't think so.
Yes, women are born to give more but men are given the responsibility to take care of women.

For guys, it's even simpler.
Just think of yourself losing everything and will your lady still do laundry for you.
Hahahahahaha, wtf.
It's stupid but ya laundry is boring, mundane, dull, an everyday thing.
This is weird but ya, a girl who would do your laundry without getting paid,
I think she's sincere, lol.


  1. 喜欢这种有素质的鸡汤! 加油!

  2. naiseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  3. I don't really like read long post.
    But when I read your post, I will read finish and I love this post <3

  4. If I not mistaken, you are not single right ? No offense, cause i did read one of your blog you blog about your man and i couldn't find back. Sorry for wondering


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