To the girls who sent me heartbreak emails





I often get long emails, messages about heartbreak.
My friend was like "so you're like a guru now?"
Lol, you bet... nah, just joking.
I'm no guru, I wonder why girls always ask me for help, I can't even get my shit together.
Honestly, I can't heal your broken heart.
Nobody can heal your broken heart.
Whatever advice it is, it is useless because your heart won't listen.
You heart just won't listen.

Cry.
Cry all you want.
One day, you'll notice that your tears have "dried" out.
You no longer cry even when you're still sad about a break up.
That's when you start moving on with your life.
You might not notice it because you're still sad but you're progressing, you just don't know it.


The only solution is 
time.

 The key is 
acceptance.


Accept that you're not marrying this man.
Accept that he's going to have the "next" girl, or the "next" girls.
Accept that you are just not "the girl".
Accept that he no longer loves you.
Accept that nobody can't live without someone.
You can live without someone in your life.



Sometimes you feel...
"So, I only worth that much to you?"
Yes, hun, you're only worth that much to certain people.
It doesn't mean you're worthless or you're only worth that much.
You are worth what you think you worth.
(but of course not too much, that's arrogance, lol)
I don't know if certain people take you for granted, or he's just not the one for you.
People often say that a person treats you right if he's the RIGHT one.
I don't know right or wrong, left and right.
What I know is that it's just life, you know?
Life is hard enough, why make yourself more miserable?
In life, I try very hard to not take anyone for granted, still trying.


Talk about parents first.
We always take our parents for granted.
We don't have a helper at home now, those who have a helper at home...
Please kneel and thank your parents for your good life that they've given you, lol.
My mum used to do all the housework, for herself, for my sisters.
I had a helper while living away from my mother, then I learnt to do laundry studying in Aussie.
 In recent years, I started doing laundry on my own.
Lucky enough, we have a dryer at home.
Laundry to me, it's troublesome but it's a lot easier, at least I don't have to hang the clothes out.
Home dryer broke down last week.
It's like hell to me, having to hang my clothes out again.
My mum did laundry for our family of five for 20-30years.
Wait what? Dryer broke down last week? What? My mum doesn't "break down"?


It's easy to talk about it, how good my mum is, how much she did for us.
I want to appreciate her more, I want to show her appreciation.
It's sometimes hard to apply in real life.
It's easier to be said than done.
Appreciation, not everyone knows how.
I always say that I'm still learning to appreciate, always learning.
You learn to appreciate everyday.
You don't just know how to appreciate.
You don't.
Actions prove everything.
You can always say that you appreciate your boyfriend, your girlfriend.
Do you actually do things to show appreciation?
Little things in life show your appreciation.

Appreciation is never enough.
Remember, appreciating is done on your own will.
Do not expect people to appreciate you just because you appreciate them.
I always expect people to appreciate me because I appreciate them.
It just doesn't work that way.


I don't say good morning to my mum every time but when I see her I will greet her "mum".
When I see my dad, I greet "dad", that's just normal form of showing respect, of course.
I appreciate my parents' existence, they are the reason to/for/of my existence.
My nephew hugs me good night whenever I'm at home before he goes to sleep, it's really sweet.
He knocks on my door sometimes, he says in his baby voice
"Yiyi (aunty), please open the door, I want to hug you good night."
Super cute, should catch it on camera next time.
I love it when people greet me good morning, wish me good night.
Small gesture like this is a form of appreciation too.
Little gestures prove more than little words.
I don't know if it makes sense but it does to me.



A story for you.
I started my car engine, sat in the car outside of my house.
I was sad, so I cried in the car.
It started raining.
I didn't notice my mum coming out of the house to
take in two pieces of my nephew's clothes hung outside.
I bet she saw me wiping my tears off, I hurriedly drove away.
That was the worst feeling in the world.
She didn't have to see me cry?
When you get your heart broken, think about your parents.
They are more hurt seeing you hurting like this.
Most of the time, you'll feel worthless, you'll feel like a failure,
you'll feel like you've disappointed your parents, disappointed the whole world.
Why can't I get over? Why can't I get over?
The road to "recovery" is tough, it will be tough.
Don't be too hard on yourself, (moderate hardness is sufficient), lol.


So many grandmother stories to tell.
You are on your own, nobody can help you.
Even when I'm saying this, advising you, convincing, I, myself, might not know any better.
Again, it's easier to be said than done but you just have to do it.
Be sad, cry all you want but stop when you know enough is enough.
You will know it because time will tell you when it's enough.
Stay tough through this process and when you think you can't take it, think about your parents.
They are the reason to/for/of your existence,
so who gives other people the right to break your heart?

Be mindful of what you allow.
She is, he is, they are, we are what you allow.
If you allow someone to treat you in a certain manner, that someone treats you in that manner.
It's what you allow.
So be careful of what you allow.
You allow someone to treat you like dirt, someone will treat you like dirt.
That's called taking things for granted.
Not everyone knows how to appreciate.



So happen that today is some sorta international women's day.
I'm not all about feminism, I don't need a man in my life but I do want the man I love, lol.
 Be a child to your parents.
Be a lady to your man.
Be an employee to your employer.

Be a person to yourself.


I don't write a good post but this is pretty much what I want to say to every girl who sent me emails.
You can still send me emails, say whatever you want to say.
It might make you feel better telling someone.
I don't know you, you don't know me but I feel you.



I know this song through Jay Chou long long long long time ago.
He wrote the melody for NanQuan Mama.
The lyric is simple yet beautiful, written by one of the group members of NanQuan Mama.
說著笑著的午后 鐘聲一直在停留
風聲靜靜躺著在誘惑
我一個人在角落 沒有妳陪伴的我
連寂寞都笑我太墮落
廣場旁邊的煙囪 煙霧瀰漫妳面容
我悄悄背頌妳的溫柔
喝著加溫後的啤酒 這樣唯美的鏡頭
是否只存在故事之中
在妳的身後 時間把過去都帶走
時間把鏡頭帶走不假思索 回憶不放手
好想再跟妳牽著手 牽著妳給我的溫柔
哭過以後眼淚還是不停的流
在妳的身後 時間把畫面都帶走
時間把鏡頭帶走不假思索 回憶不放手
好想再跟妳牽著手 牽著曾有過的溫柔
哭過之後眼淚還是不停的流
遇見彩虹 雨下過之後
街角出現彩虹 淚流乾之後 有彩虹


"在你的身後 時間把過去都帶走"



Time will heal you.
Let music help you too.




19 comments:

  1. Absolutely motivated by ur post! I just let myself hurt by the same person twice recently. Feeling myself super stupid for doing every decision. Having hard times to walk out( yet gastric is the worst as I cant eat well). Thanks for ur words ! U're really one of my respiration. Goood luck in life x

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  2. this post can conform my soul.. thanks

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  3. Thank you Daphne! This post made me feel so much better! :)

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  4. good said! i believed it has lightened many ppl. :)

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  5. thx daphne...great inspiration before sleep. good night and have a nice day tomolo.

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  6. This might be the best post that I ever read so far ! You're so mature and inspiring !!! I like the term time and acceptance coz these 2 things are the best pills for healing a broken heart :))

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  7. Wow Daphne. Way to go girl. I am so proud of you. I could not agree more when you say no one has the right to hurt us when our parents are the reason for our existence. Like girls out there seriously need to walk away from things or people who keep hurting them. If you think that things or the people are making you cry more than it is making you smile, then honey it's time to go. You deserve better. They don't deserve your tears. I firmly believe in the saying that no man is worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry. So be strong girls. Know what you want and don't allow people to treat you like crap. If they love you, they will respect you and do the same for you.

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  8. Only yourself can cures from everything happen in life.

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  9. Thanks for the post Daphne. You're amazing. :)

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  10. Great post!! Good read for those who just broke up.. Thank you, such inspiring post..

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  11. Thanks Daphne! I just got hurt again by the same person a few days before. We were both wrong, and right. He has chosen a future without me, even when I thought we could both work hard to BE the right one instead of finding one. My life was so much emptier since he left, all time and effort and everything else that used to be reserved only for him doesn't seem to make sense anymore. I feel like a dumb for begging him to stay, while he was asking me to let him go, even deep down inside I already knew this will not work. Guess we all already have an answer but we just don't wanna accept it. Thanks for sorting things out. I really feel so much better after reading this post.

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  12. I found that he cheated me as he still texting his ex-crush. He claimed that he treat them as friends. I found it out only after two years we have been together. I fall deeply, I wanted to break up with him, but I can't drag myself out, I keep thinking of him, all the moments, every single things in my life, occupied by him. I can't accept the truth that he cheated on me. I wanted to break up with him as I can't forgive him, it is so hurt and I am so suffer. But I still love him hell 😭😭😭 I still want to see him, but I can't forgive him.. how torturing...

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  13. IT comes to a time where you will think if it is worthwhile crying your heart out or yearning for that one who is no longer with you. IT definitely hurts but I guess IT is all up in the head. Straighten things up in your head and things will start moving again. Never ill-treat yourself, when you deserve better than anyone else. Cheers!!!

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  14. This is really something to read and type a comment. It is insightful, I like the "Appreciation" part. Thanks Daphne =)

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  15. This is really something for those heartbreak peoples

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  16. @Anonymous you know you should just let go. i tried hard to forgive my ex too. ( he tweet bout he still love his ex as much when we were still a lovey dovey couple ) why staying with the guy when you don't see a future with ? Nothing is lonelier than being stuck in a relationship thats going nowhere.

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  17. Thanks Daphne. This touched my heart especially the one you cried in the car. I had that same experience and feeling before and yeap, parents didn't need to know why we are upset about cause if they know they will upset so.

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