Social media what?

Social media.
Let's see, what's up lately?
The Australian Instagram model.
Don't know what I'm talking about?
Google Essena O'Neill.

Natalie sent us a link about this and I didn't read it word by word because 
I think it was total bullshit.

I apologize if you think that I'm no one close to be qualified to talk about this.
Just going to take myself as an example to explain how social media is like,
(for me, in Malaysia)
Instagram stars have millions of follower or at least half a million.
I'm no where close but yes, I'm grateful that I have more than 100,000 followers.
I don't know how it happened but honestly, it didn't happen overnight.
You don't know the late night typings, the 1000pictures editing, the effort producing music videos...
The dedication of always learning and producing pieces to help/motivate people, bla bla+
It takes time to build, in my case, 9 years now (my "blogging career").
It didn't happen because I have a pretty face.
It didn't happen because I have the perfect body.
It happened because of me, as an individual, as a personality.
Some people just like me for me and yes, I feel very lucky and sometimes I feel I don't deserve.
Cut the people who dislike me/hate me/do not know me.
People who like me don't follow me for my great looks.
In fact, I wasn't born with good looks, I'm partially "artificial", since I got fillers pumped in my face.
I try hard to look pretty because that's just what GIRLS do.
That's not only what bloggers/instagram stars do, every girl wants to look prettier.
Not just girls, let me correct that, everyone wants to look good.
You don't get up in the morning and say "I want to look ugly today."

Fillers pumped in my face, let's talk about sponsorship.
I'm with Rachel Chew Aesthetic Clinic, I chose them because I think they are good.
Doctor Rachel maintains my face, it's up to me to go see her or not.
There are plenty of aesthetic clinics who emailed me to offer sponsorship.
Some even offered to pay for good reviews.
It is your face that you're talking about.
If I do not believe in Doctor Rachel, do you think I'll take up the sponsorship?
I won't want to get paid for service I do not believe in and fck my face up.
If you're a superficial, money minded person, a clinic comes to you,
wants to make you look pretty, is willing to pay,
you would think, why not? Let's try.
Nobody is forcing you to do anything but if they fck your face up,
that's on you because it's your choice to go with them.

The Australian model claims that she was paid to post about a dress she didn't even like.
That's your choice to take $400.
As a blogger, I get clothing sponsorship emails all the time.
For some of you who might have sent me emails regarding sponsorship before.
Please do understand that I do not take any blog shop sponsorship, hence I hardly reply.
You can see from my instagram, I do sponsorship postings but I do not clog my instagram up
with clothing sponsorship.
Imagine every single post with clothing/bag/prodcuts sponsorship, you not sien, I also sien.
I see this girl, she hot, she pretty, she famous, check her feed.
98% of her posts are about sponsorship.
People are still following and liking because she has a pretty face.
Now comes back to the viewers, not just with the influencers online.
All blog shops are her favourites, will you believe her words? Think about it.
You say social media is fake, social media is a lie.
Come on, it's the real world.
Why are people on Instagram?
To see things that are pleasing to the eyes.
To like it or not, it's your choice.
I looked at my Facebook feed and some of my friends hailed Essena a heroin.
Come on, suddenly all these Instagram stars are superficial, shallow.
You are a viewer yourself, you get to choose what to look at, what not to look at.
What to like, what not to like.
What is right and what is wrong.
You chose to be affected, chose to be influenced and put blame on reviews.
"Oh, cuz she said this blog shop's stuff are made in good quality"
"She said this tanning oil is gonna make me look fantastic"
It is not hard to see which blogger is true, which influencer is ethical.
It really isn't hard.

There was this slimming product (an oilment), who offered to pay for review.
I told her the only way I can help promote your product is to say that I ONLY use it on my abs.
(I used it on my abdomen because I used to work on my abs at that time,
otherwise I'll have to reject you.
Of course, she didn't buy my ads because she didn't see a value there.
Imagine I were to take up the slimming product and said I used it.
Will you believe this? I'd be fake as hell, NOT real, money minded and unethical.

There was once, my manager asked me about writing a review for this slimming company.
I just went like "are you being serious now?"
Conversation ended.

Everyone likes pretty things.
I look at Karen Kho, Kayla Itsines' instagram, I go like, man I wish I had that body.
Like what she said, she shows her perfect body, she helps people with getting in shape.
But you don't see the early mornings, the late nights, the determination not to eat a brownie.
I don't get up at 5am, I eat that brownie, I don't do my squats.
Well, that's my choice, that's my lifestyle.
It's just different lifestyle, she isn't faking it, in fact, she's doing something so good.
She helps people to keep fit in a healthy way, exercise.

They said that people only show the good things on the internet.
You take a picture of yourself to share with your friends.
Don't you want a good picture?
It doesn't make any sense if you intentionally take an ugly picture and post it up.
I'm crying, I'm sad, let me post a crying picture.
I'm going bankrupt, let's share it with the world.
It's not on the internet, it applies on life too.
You work away from home.
Your parents call you and ask how you're doing.
Do you tell them you're doing bad?
No, you tell them you're good, maybe not good but you'd say something like
I'm doing fine.
We are human beings, we have pride in us.
We want to show people the good stuff.

What is wrong with sharing what make up you use?
How is that shallow and superficial?
I would really want to know what eyebrow products Cara Delevigne used.
Well, I know the answer, it's just her gene, lol.
I don't have gene like that, what about working on other parts on my face to look better?
What about that? Maybe I can use this eyeliner to make my eyes pop, so my eyes look pretty.
You, yourself, gotta work hard if you want something.
You don't depend on influencers to tell you what to buy and what not to buy.
I don't draw my eyeliner perfectly since day one.
You ask me how do I do my eyeliner but everyone's eyes are different.
I share with people what products I use, they don't all fit or suit you.
You gotta find out what's good for you.
I tried to do the khaleesi make up for halloween.
I went to Youtube and watch Michelle Phan's tutorial.
It's so useful but hey, I failed miserably because I look nothing like khaleesi.
First to start with, I don't even have features like khaleesi, lol.
Why don't people think this way?
Social media is amazing.
It connects you to people all around the world.
 Michelle Phan lives thousands miles away but I get to see her on the internet.

Yes, pictures can be deceiving sometimes.
I repeat, sometimes.
For example.. what is wrong with wearing a push up bra?
Like Essena said she wore push up bra to make her boobs look bigger.
Well, if you really have small boobs, or you only have tits, you have no boobs, LOLLLLL,
no matter how hard you push, you still wont have boobs.
She. Has. The. Boobs... that's why her body looks good in that picture.
Boobs + push up bra = bigger boobs.
I do wear push ups too, sometimes you see when I'm happy,
I show show my cleavage with the help of my push up bras..
Some days, I just feel like I want to wear a bralet without wire.
Then, my chest looks like an airplane can land on me.
Boobs or no boobs, who cares?
Not your boobs, why would you care and discuss?
That's just human nature, curious, want to find out about things, not just on social media.

I love music.
I love to sing.
Some people ask me, you are lucky, you already got "followings".
Why don't you do something with singing?
I don't frequently make Youtube singing videos, I don't do gigs all the time.
Sometimes it's hard for people to "label" me.
Am I a blogger? Am I a singer? Am I a Youtube singer? Am I an Instagram star?
I feel paiseh, please. (paiseh=embarrassed)
When Essena came out, I'm like what should I call you?
Instagram model? You're not really a model? Instagram star? How? Instagram writer? No?
People tell me that "you're not gonna go anywhere if you don't release an album."
"Buck up and do something about it, you'll never go big!"
Again, that's my choice.
I'm happy like this.
Well, if opportunities come, I grab them, of course, but
I don't force myself to do things I'm not comfortable with just to be "famous".
When you start chasing fame, that's when you lose yourself and things WILL fall apart.
Some people tell me that I won't make it because I'm not special enough.
Learning to accept criticism, embrace my weakness, I'm still learning.
I'll still work hard to be better but I won't fake to be special.
"Clients are not going to buy you because you don't have a strong trait."
Go, go buy the pretty faces, so many pretty girls in this world, go.
I'm sorry if I'm pointing finger but I'm stating a fact.
So many young girls like to chase after fame now.
Whatever review, RM100 ok I'll do it, RM200 ok I'll do it.
Where is your value?
Where is your work ethic?
Pretty faces can be bought, personalities can't be bought.
Easy, why don't I just undergo plastic surgery and look like Angelababy.
I'll make big bucks like this.

Essena didn't get famous solely because of her beautiful looks.
I heard that she's a vegan and she has been an activist.
I don't know, whatever.
Chiara Ferragni didn't get that famous because she's gorgeous.
She really is very gorgeous btw but she really does have a very good fashion sense.
Some people were born with it, some people work hard/practice to be this good.
Nothing comes easy, you can be envious but don't be jealous.

I might portray myself as a strong girl on social media.
That's what I want you to see, want you to know.
It's not saying that I'm not being real.
In fact, I think I keep it real all the time.
I keep my emotions real, I talk about being emotional.
For a blogger, it's not ideal to reveal so much about your emotions.
Cause that's what people are going to see you for a very very very long time.
That's what most people see me as.
It's my choice of what I want to share with my readers.
I say I'm happy, I tell you I'm happy with a smiley picture.
You don't know how happy I am, maybe I'm so happy that I can't sleep for nights.
I say I'm sad, I tell you I'm sad.
You don't know how sad I am, maybe I have depression, maybe I have to see a psychiatrist.
You wouldn't know.
All you know is that I'm happy, I'm sad, end of story.

Very contradicting, sometimes strong on instagram, sometimes emotional on my blog.
So confident on instagram but so insecure in real life.
That's life isn't it?
Life can be very contradicting.
I want to do this but I don't want to do this.
Everyone has their insecurities.
It's not going to be 365 days of happy days.
You choose to reveal your bad/sad days or not, your call.
Good for some people, they are good with hiding their bad days.
They only put the good things on their profile.
Well, that's their choice, that's their life.

Don't define a person from what you see.
You don't even know that person.
If you judge a person on what he/she shows you on social media,
they are not being superficial in their life,
you're the superficial one who is judging.

Back to music.
Let's take Lady Gaga as an example, she is huge, she made it, she's a big star.
Everyone has known her as the crazy one.
People don't understand what she's wearing, what she's doing, what she's singing.
What you don't know is that she loves Jazz music a lot.
She doesn't like pop music at all, like her song "Poker Face", "Alejandro", "Bad Romance".
She's back to making Jazz music, she released a Jazz album with Tony Bennett.
Taking off the crazy wig, crazy costumes, she's just a girl who likes music.

"I have a lot more to offer than my image"

She changed because she wasn't happy.
She changed because she remembered who she is.
Why would you blame social media for making you an unhappy person?
Social media can't define who you are.
You don't like it, you make changes.

There was this post of Essena saying that she didn't eat for the perfect body picture.
Something like that.
That is so so so so so bad to do/to say.
Some people really do have the skinny gene.
I've never starved myself in my whole life to be so skinny.
I was born this skinny.
She's spreading a message saying that EVERY girl starves to keep fit.
No, girls are not that dumb.
They might control on what they eat but they don't starve themselves.
Some were born skinny.
Some are more health conscious, they just refuse to have unhealthy fatty food.
What's your problem with that?
You eat and you get fat then that is your problem.
You choose to starve yourself in an unhealthy way, that is your problem.
Why pin it on social media?
For girls who don't eat to get a skinny, God bless you and please don't do that.
There are ways to keep fit.
It's all up to you.
You think not eating is the easy way out, by all means, I'm not you, I can't tell you what to do.
Exercising really does help maintain a fit body, it all comes down to you again.
Are you determined enough to exercise everyday?
When you don't have a nice body and you see some instagram stars who have nice body.
Instead of saying that the person is fake, she took 10000 shots to get a good shot.
Why don't you start working out if you want that nice body?

Lady Gaga said I'm not doing this, I'm not doing that, I'm not going to that event.
Yes, she is big but she's not being cocky.
Sometimes we turn down jobs because we know who we are, what we like, what we don't like.
We don't do it for the money.
Most people thought that we do it for the money.
When we tag this dress, that cosmetic, it's paid, NO.
Ok, some people do it for the money, you can see it.
You can see it if people do it for the money.

For example, H&M Balmain.
Everyone is asking me if I get the priority to purchase first since my friends collaborated with H&M.
No, I don't, I only got to check the preview pieces out.
I wear them, I tag them, I'm always at H&M because I love the brand.
I don't get paid and I didn't get any sponsorship from H&M.
I paid and I bought the H&M x Balmain tee with my money.
Ashley queued for it, appreciate your effort, Ash, lol.
This collaboration is so hyped up, Kendall Jenner looks so pretty in these pieces, I also want.
She is not a lie, she was just born with great genes, lol.
She got that body, that aura, that body to fit these designer pieces.

Sometimes, things are not as easy as they seem.
Sometimes, we do things because we were assigned by our company.
Whether you like it or not, sometimes, things don't go as you wish.
Sometimes, it's all about the money FOR THEM, it's business, it's not about you.
Take it as your job, sometimes you do things that you don't like at work.
You still gotta get your job done.
Social media is my job.
Like what Lady Gaga said, she felt like as if she's a money making machine.
"Passion and creativity take the backseat".
It's often like this.
You pitched an idea at work, your boss, your clients don't buy it, you can't do shit.
In lucky case, Lady Gaga gets to turn down things she doesn't want to do, she got the power.
She remembered who she is and she has integrity.
She now makes music she likes, she dresses however she wants to.

You choose to follow any social media influencers online.
Nobody forces you.
You think this person is your inspiration, by all means.
You think this person is nothing but a vase, don't follow.
Social media isn't a lie.
I'm not saying Essena isn't an inspiration.
She thinks she's unhappy living off social media, she wants to quit. Quit then.
She's doing something for herself, she wants a change, go ahead.
This post is not to criticize her but to let you see the other side of social media.
She said she doesn't want to live off social media.
She started a movement and she's calling people online to support her because she can't pay rent now.
Wait, what?

Some people "exploit" social media, taking the power of social media for granted.
Simple, just don't take things for granted.
Be happy, feel contented, feel lucky that so many people follow you on social media.
Try to do more good things, it's tough I know, everyone is selfish in life.
Just don't wrong others on the internet/in real life.
Social media isn't a lie.
Even if people tell you a lie, you refuse to listen, you won't get affected.
You can refuse to listen and reject a "lie".
You choose to be influenced and affected, all self-righteous then you blame it on social media.
You as and influencer or as a viewer...

This is such a messy post but it's an honest one.
I had so many points in my head before I went to bed but I can't recall all, so yea.

Fame doesn't define you, social media doesn't define you, you define you.


  1. Great sharing, I am agreed with your point. In the end of the day, we are just a human, no one is perfect. If perfect then no need to come here Liao.

  2. Your words are not pleasant to read. Honest but rude. More like a whiny post.

    1. Then click on the x button and read something pleasant! =)

    2. She is just being herself sharing her thoughts la. It's her blog okay.

    3. Yet you finished the whole thing. And come here to be a blog additional, without name. Get your balls gather up and let her know who you are.

  3. it is very true, Daph! :) sometimes it is sad to always share the "good" side of life, and not the bad part. but i always enjoy reading your blog that touches on your personal feeling, portraying the real you on social media. Keep the spirit and hope to see you around soon!

  4. Great post! Blaming social media on everything bad that is going on in life is totally the wrong way to look at life. Everyone has a choice to choose whether they want to accept or reject that sponsorship and yes no one can actually force you to review or promote something you don't like. It's all up to us to make the right choice. Being fake or jealous of influencer on social media is up to each others choice. Great that you're maintaining your originality and true personality.

  5. @Anonymous
    I wouldn't call this a whiny post, in fact this post makes perfect sense and I'm happy that she thought of this too. If essena were to quit and create change, then don't use social medias to promote her motion. She's contradicting herself don't you think? I feel it's alright about her taking 400$ for posting a pic, I don't think that's anything wrong for earning this way, it's not like it'll bring any threat the the world or something. But if she were to say she doesn't eat the whole day just to look thin, then I think it's not right. There's always both sides of the situations. Anything in this world tend to be criticized/ commented. There's nothing wrong with it, that's how the generation improvise progressively. Yea, so no, Daphne not rude, she's frank and straight to the point.

  6. Good point. At first I saw Essena's video, I clicked in but didn't stay long to finish it. What I saw from the comment, she quit her instagram "career" and opens up a website, posting all her videos. I was like "WHATTTTT"...
    She is definitely exploiting the power of social media by doing this so-called "confession". Not considered exploiting social media actually, since she is using youtube and youtube is not a social media. LOL.

  7. I totally agree with you! finally someone that understands my point of view.
    Since the begining it was her choice to do anything so why is she complaining? Having a blog is something for ourselves to feel better in a certain way right? If a person don't like it anymore just drop it! Doesn't need all of this media atention. Nobody cares. There's a lot more bloggers than herself. there's you and me and all the people who read this >_<

  8. I agree for what you said. I never follow you on social media because I don't know you, but I know you are famous. Is my choice. If I ever follow someone and I find out that she isn't doing something that inspire me, I unfollow. I do follow famous people on social media, but not because of they are pretty or famous. I like people being real and truthful including those artists. I mean real artists. I like them not because they are handsome or pretty. I do research for them, I like people working hard to be the top in their circle. Being honest you aren't gorgeous, but I like your personality. I don't know you, but I'll follow you from today onwards. Daphne I like you. :)

  9. Whatever it is , keep it strong and keep it real. That's what we love about you. Jiayou daph :)

  10. I don't know who you are, I'm not any influence or social media fanatic. I'm just ordinary people. To be honest, you have really good writing skills and I follow your writing. It's my first time here and the first time I heard about you. I don't follow people to see pretty pictures. I follow people on how the write and express themselves. And you for that matter is a good writer and context of expression is on point. I do agree a lot on your points on social media and I do believe that everyone has a choice. Really good post and you won't see the last of me. You got yourself a new follower

  11. Totally well written! Be good or be gone!

  12. Love this ! I felt this exact way when I watch what the Australian model has to say . Thank you for explaining that it is a choice and that social media shouldn't be fully blamed . You really are a good social media role model ❤️

  13. Don't have to criticize Essena, just ask yourself, will you dare to do the things she's doing?

  14. I agree! But your engrish haha

  15. At the end of the day, people have different perspective. Ure just protecting the view from yours because u see how the opposite thinks. But u cant define nor deceive what others might think or do. You have ur thoughts and n sharing it out is ur freedom, but slamming other people view of it is the real pussy because deep down u want others to think or follow what ur thoughts are. U cant stand different opinion from different angle of view that is against yours. Think wise or mayb write wise. u dont needa blog to the public stepping others down to raise yourself up.

    1. good one! totally agree with this

  16. You know that a lot of people can't think for themselves nowadays, right? Social media tends to lower a person's judgment because in its very essence, social media is social. Let me break it down for you, if a lot of people are doing one thing, would you be curious in doing the same thing to, then later this creates an endless cycle. She was caught in the headlights.

    I don't think you completely understand what she is going through. But good for you that you are not caught in the same depression as she was, she started at age 12 and she barely have friends. Depression is a real thing and not everyone has the same EQ as you do. You should at least understand that. And may your English RIP.

    1. Agree with you. She was just 12 years old while she started the career. I doubt if a 12 years old girl would understand what is work ethics, choice to be yourself, be true and be real. I think most people wouldn't even know how the advertisement and realistic world looks like at that age. If you did not finish reading what she is trying to say and commented her message as bullshit, I don't think you have truly put yourself In her shoes before you even started commenting about her making the wrong choices and spreading the wrong messages which were to be fake, unreal, unethical... She was just a teenager, probably unfortunate than you, who has a low sense of self worthiness and constantly seeking for people's acceptance in a wrong way when she was so young... I believe you understand how it is to feel like being not valued and deserved to be loved by others. Be kind to others.

  17. I felt annoyed so i did not finish reading. I respect that you have your own opinion but so does Essena! You could just write about the benefits of social media rather than saying what she said was bullshit. 😊

    1. but you didn't even finish reading...

  18. Thanks for sharing your view. I think at the moment this is under-represented view point that not many people are realizing or exposed to and it lends a different perspective to this whole "social media is a lie" topic.

    I can sense that not many people are happy with the tone Daphne used to write this post as it may seem a bit of a rant, but I would take some time to take in this different perspective and make your own evaluation on the issue.

    All of us are in control of how we use social media. End of the day this was what she was driving at. Instead of getting worked up about the tone used, perhaps it would be of importance to our own personal growth to ask ourselves if we have been honest about how we USE social media and if we do so responsibly or if we place the blame on external circumstances.

    Thanks again Daphne, a raw but very honest post.


  19. The message you want to deliver in this post is over the place and repetitive. Really don't see the need of giving so many examples. WE GET IT.

  20. Call yourself 'real' but u hardly post any bad comments...and only put out the good ones.

  21. Dear Daphne, as much as I respect your opinions, I strongly disagree with them. Here's the thing.. Essena has come up bravely to voice out the truth behind her success.. Her intention was not to dish social media and give it a bad name.. Essena's message was to tell people to literally get a life. Essena wanted people to realize that there's a world outside our screens.. She is not trying to condemn people whom made big bucks and gained fame on this platform.. So please don't get it wrong.. Instead , we should give Essena our full support in this because what she is doing is restoring a little faith in humanity !

  22. Hi Daphne.
    I think your view is on point. Social media is great to exist, it connects everyone tgt.
    But, some of my friends, they're really 'live for instagram'.
    It's just not right for me. They will go for a coffee, not to relax themselves, not to chat with friends, not to taste the new coffee,
    They go for a perfect instagram photo.
    I know there's a thing called 'Digital Detox 48 hours' ,
    I think everyone should try this, to feel that, without social media,
    you can really enjoy a cup of coffee, really enjoy reading, but not put them tgt on a pretty coffee desk and take a perfect photo only.
    I dunno if this make sense, but sometimes people have to disconnect to make connection,
    do you agree? haha.

  23. i understand what are you saying about, but it is not on point as you might have misunderstood the whole thing. have you thought of the reasons why this issue went viral? it certainty means more than what you had expressed, its really beyond that.


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