Late Night Thoughts : The Fight

Wow, I haven't updated my blog for more than 2 weeks now.
I was sick and it was my birthday week.
I didn't expect to have crazy celebrations because you know...?
I'm 低調(D調)(low-profile), lol lol lol.
My crazy friends threw me a surprise party 2 days after my birthday.
I don't know how many times I shedded tears of joy.
They think it's entertaining, lol.
Thanks again, my friends.
Incredible friends, best friends in the world.
I was like what did I do to deserve this.
Haha, ok, I'll give myself some credit, maybe because I've been a good friend too, heh.

I never thought people would love me...quite a lot.
Well, except for my parents... and Jane?
I never expected them to make such effort to show me that I'm worthy.
I never expected and I think it's because I've always been the nice one.
I believe in everything people say and I've never believed in myself.
This is what I've learnt since last few weeks.
I learnt that just because people give my shit doesn't mean that I should take that shit.
Lol, good enough explanation?
Sometimes, I just don't understand why I always take shit from other people.
I can just reject that shit, I don't know why I always accept that shit.
It's a lot on the mind.
It's your belief, your self confidence.
The ability to control your emotions.
I failed miserably.

I don't want to take shit from anybody anymore.
Gotta work on that self confidence, gotta work on it.

Sometimes I really just don't know what I'm fighting and only I realized that
I'm constantly beating myself down for no apparent reason.
It's a fight between my mind and heart.
It's nauseating.

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