Diary : God




Thoughts about religion?
My grandparents are faithful Catholics.
My sisters and I were baptized at our full moon.
Well, I'd say we didn't really have a choice.
Our parents made a decision for us but yes, I'm happy to be a Catholic.
I can't be happier to be raised a Catholic.
I'm glad I am and I'm proud that I am.




To be honest, I have a religion and I believe in God but I'm just not religious enough.
Mum got me my first white gold cross when I was really small and I lost it.
She got me another one about 8 years ago.
I wear it everyday, I seldom take it off, I will not take it off unless I have to.
I don't know, that cross makes me feel safe.
It's like a link to my religion.
 It feels like God is with me.




I don't pray.
My grandpa always tells me to kneel by the bed and pray but I never do it.
I guess, I take God for granted.
 Well, I do talk to God sometimes.
When I'm thankful for something, I'll tell God thank you.
I tell Him thank you mostly because I want my happiness to last.
Selfish me.




I'm a mess now.
I'm a wreck, I feel helpless.
I put my hands together before bed that night.
I said "Our Father" prayer and I started talking to God.
I said, please help me, I will do better the next time.
Please help me, just grant me this wish, make us all better.
I will do better.

I started saying countless times of "Hail Mary".
Until I fell asleep...



When I woke up the next day, I felt like I had no life.
The day I feared most came.
I was angry. Why God why?
I asked You for help, God, why didn't You make it fine?
Why did You make me so miserable?
I really want this, I can't lose this.




I suddenly remembered I read about this before.
God takes something away from you because He's giving you something better.

Not going to elaborate further because I want you to think.
Simply put, God was helping.






2 comments:

  1. Daphne, you are strong. Remember that. Because God only gives you challenges He knows you can handle.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't know what had happened to you but I really wish that you will be OK soon. I almost cried when reading your post. Please be strong and never lose your faith. Please be strong.

    ReplyDelete

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