學會堅強的痛

Went to church with Ed the next morning after Crown karaoke until late night.

Bad girl went home late but I wanted to go out that night to take a breather.

Janice and Sonia were giving testimonials at FCC, glad that I went.

Ed is a Christian, I'm a Catholic, is it wrong to go to a Christian church?

Hmm, no idea, I like pastor Benny a lot, love the way he conveys God's messages.

Whatever it is, as long as we worship and praise Lord, we're all God's children.

I was emotional enough, cried the night before.

Pastor Benny made us all cry, God was touching my heart.

I asked God to help me from pain and depression, I hate how it's hurting me.

Hope I wasn't asking much.

The beautiful young ladies, very inpsiring.

They didn't shed a tear talking about their mum.

They are so strong, they know that their mum is with God.

The puffy eyes.

Loved the bright sun and the heat.

那麼痛，為甚麼還要堅持？

一個月了。只是暫時的痛？我希望是。

我覺得虧欠因為我辜負了很多我愛的人。

他的媽媽想過來澳洲拉攏我們，她應該很不捨得我。

Sarah和Siobhan都很擔心我陷入憂鬱。

她們是很大的鼓勵，告訴我要為我自己而活。

沒有問題自私，要我對自己有信心。

 因為愛失去太多自信。

我堅強了一點。

以前總是哭哭啼啼的，雖然現在還是，但是至少我都自己一個哭。

大家都認為我不哭了，堅強了，瀟灑了。

很情緒化，有時笑著笑著，突然想哭。

心在痛，不要說你懂，沒人能懂，因為只有自己知道有多痛。

我笑不出來也哭不出來。

他在痛，我也知道，可是我甚麼都做不到了。

 

單身了，沒想到還有人會欣賞我呢。

我也心疼那些關心我的人，為我東奔西跑，做很多想讓我開心。

我不想一個人，看著電腦，望著鏡子，都會有想哭的感覺。

不是一個人的時候，也只是暫時的安慰。

Sarah, Siobhan, Will, Daniel, Clement & Vel 慢慢開始是最好的安慰。

我準備開始寫新的一頁了

 

因為我回不去了

不哭了

Jayesslee in Perth

 

Ed and I got the Jayesslee's concert tickets early, about 2 months ago.

I was so eager to go as I missed their concert in Malaysia last year for being in Aussie.

It was a Saturday, I had to work until 5pm, the concert was starting at 6pm.

My colleagues, Siobhan and Sarah went too.

Ugh, I was supposed to dress up, put super finished make up on to look good.

Didn't have the time to, I was also tired after work.

Was so lazy to even put fake lashes on, only had eye make up on.

I looked terrible, ughhhh and some readers recognized me, my goodness.

Sorry to 2 of the girls that I promised to take picture with after the show but I didn't.

Ed car hit on some ramp, the car stuck, the tires weren't touching the ground.

It was dark, thank God that the nice people in church came to help.

They literally lifted the car and pushed.

Ok, skip that, it was all fine after an hour of freezing in the cold, lol.

This sweet girl insisted to take a picture with me before the show.

So sorry, I didn't get your name, your enthusiasm surprised me, haha.

Thought it was awkward to get a picture when everyone was settled for the show.

Thanks for reading me and liking my blog, appreciate your love to me, hehe.

OMG, I looked bad I looked bad but I promised to post.

 

 

The opening acts were great.

Janice and Sonia were incredible.

The whole show was just fantastic.

The popularity of Jayesslee in Perth.

Everyone loves Jayesslee.

Sonia's husband played the drum, haha.

They're so sweet together.

 

My favourite song of the night was Safe and Sound.

It was so beautifully sang.

They really are gifted, how lucky, so so so gifted.

They have the voice of an angel.

 

All of us enjoyed the show so much.

Siobhan, Sarah, Ed and me ♥

 

I enjoyed the show so much.

It was so so so worth the money.

So much better than spending on overpriced concert tickets.

 I so don't want to post this picture too but I promised to.

A nice reader from Malaysia, I was told that his sister likes me a lot.

I promised to give a shout out to her.

Hello girl, thanks for reading my blog and thanks for your support.

Your brother is very cute, you must be cuter :)

Went to Crown karaoke with Clement, Vel and the housemates.

 Also went for a "walk" in Metros, lol.

 

It was a great day.

Janice and Sonia are so inspiring.

They pulled me closer to God.

Reached home quite late that night but still got up early to go to church.

Jayesslee shared their testimonials.

Very touching.

I felt the holy spirit since then.

God is mighty, praise God.

Time to sleep

 

Typed and backspaced, typed backspaced, typed backspaced.
My mind is blank or it's too fulled that I don't know what to express.
My only birthday wish is for God to walk into my life.
Bless me, forgive all my sins, accept me, take me as I am, guide me in life.
I need God's strength to move on, I need the holy spirit.



Happy belated birthday to myself.

Thank everyone for the birthday wishes.

Treat her right before it's too late

For everyone who follows me on Instagram/Twitter must be wondering what actually goes wrong with my relationship, what makes the romantic lover Daphne stand her ground so firmly this time?

No, he didn't do anything wrong, didn't cheat, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, flirt... sometimes maybe? Lol. 
He's a good and responsible guy, he's a great friend you want to have.

When it comes to relationship... hmmm, he is...

I don't need you to treat me very well, I need you to TREAT ME RIGHT.

He read the lyrics to me of a Korean song today.

He said it is quite similar to us.

When Ga In sings the first few sentences... Wow, it's exactly how I feel.

Of course, I can't understand Korean, I read the translation. 

It goes like -

I loved you so much but it was so hard, so hard.

So, love became weaker.

Finally, all my love to you dried up.

(It could be the reason that) So, I left you.

I don't know why I feel the need to explain to everyone, I don't have to.

I always hold onto my relationship, I loved this man so much.

A strong relationship I have, I try so hard, so so so hard to keep it going.

Until I stop trying...

I said it at the beginning of this month.

He never thought I was serious, he thought I was just throwing temper.

Come on, it's Daphne, her soft heart changes her mind all the time.

I listen to my heart all the time, I start listening to my BRAIN now.

You bet I'm so serious this time.

I cried when I said it, it hurt so so so bad, but then it was the last time I cried.

I didn't shed a tear after that, guess I cried too much before, my tears are all dried up.

It's a lie if I say I don't love him anymore.

Went through 2 years of clouds, rainbows, thunders, rains, sunshine with this man.

Imagine, plan the future with him in it, dream to marry him.

I can only say that the love is there but the heart is dead.

Don't think you guys get it tho, everyone's saying give him a chance, give him chance.

You have no idea how many chances I gave, trying to make him understand.

You have no idea how many times he made me cry without even realizing he did.

Yeh, he didn't mean to but...

朋友說，要么忍，要么残忍
我常告訴我自己，他就是了，他是我的未來，我的全部

不知道何時吵架何時開始，我忽然感覺我放棄了

不要說我殘忍，我已經盡我全力，我很累了

金句：如果有一天你真的會珍惜我了，或許就在那一天我已經放棄了

我也給了最後的機會，3個星期他對我很好，太好

為甚麼從一開始不是那樣？那麼好也無法讓我的心復活

我疑問我自己，是不是愛得太多，給自己忘記了

自己要甚麼，想甚麼，都不知道

我要找回我自己，我要愛我自己
不要責怪我，我不想心死了，也不想再自欺了
它能復活嗎？

God will lead me.

I don't know, I'll let fate decide.

Please trust me that I don't want any of this to happen but it did.

I forced myself to accept, enough is enough, I never made such a big decision like this before.

The last thing I want is letting my mum know that I've failed everyone I love.

I can't imagine how bad will this hurt her, I hope she knows nothing until I go home on October.

I lost faith in everything.

Everything seems hopeless to me.

Well, life goes on.

For my nephew

Hey, darling boy, welcome to the world.

Handsome, everyone says you look your mother and your aunty, me.

Hmmm, I looked like a boy when I was a baby, poor thing.

I call myself his "小姨"(youngest aunty).

小姨has been thinking about you everyday and night since you were born.

Want to see you eagerly and hold you in my arm.

You probably know how to call 小姨 when I finally get to see you.

You'll be 5months old, I can't believe how I'm going to miss seeing you growing up.

I'll buy you everything you want that I can afford, lol.

I'll bring nice clothes and shoes home for you.

Please grow healthy, grow to succeed, grow to be a good person.

Most importantly, grow to love.

Love daddy mummy, love grandpa grandma, love your two beautiful aunties :)

Our family loves you, you lucky boy, you will be so spoiled.

Wonder if there will still be a BLOG in the future?

Will you get to read this? Haha.

Ahhhh, feeling touched for no reason.

Parents are growing old, we are all growing older but never stop loving the young ones.

預產期本是５月１７，早我的生日１０天.

在５月５日誕生, 是衛塞節, 他們說是佛誕日.

雖然不是佛教的, 但是前輩告訴我寶寶是佛給姐姐的孩子.

那麼珍貴的寶寶...

辛苦了, 姐姐.謝謝你給我們那麼美好的禮物.

Family means everything to me.

LOVE means everything to me.

LOVE.

02.05.2012

Pardon my very unattractive face without contact lens.

That's how I look, sad case.

Oh ya, I feel like my hair isn't growing anymore O_O

I WAS LOST IN THE CITY THIS MORNING.

It was my first time being late for class.

The weather was so cold, I walked 2km to college.

It was adventurous, lol, my ass.

Really real SHIT when my Google map wasn't working.

Ahhhhhhhhhh, glad that I'M STILL ALIVE.

Have been in 4hours lecture for 2 weeks now.

Start from 8 every morning.

The lecture isn't boring but it's weird, it's like a lullaby.

Lecture puts me into sleepy mode, especially yesterday and today.

 I am skinny but I have a big tummy, WHY?

Fats, Y U NO GO BOOBS, ARMS AND ASS?

I love this high waist pants but it seems like I put on weight.

Look unzipped but I think that was the max I could go, lol!

Had lunch and couldn't button my pants, LOL.

Ed was laughing so hard, he doesn't understand.

I'm skinny but I have big tummy and double chin.

Still struggling to button it.

Inhale... Inhale... You can do it...

Ended up walking with pants unbuttoned, lol.

My birthday is coming.

Ed asked me what I want for my birthday.

It wasn't romantic but I'm glad that he asked.

I want my new uniform as a gift from him.

It's simply meaningful.

Please lead me to succeed...

11months to go, I hope I can be good in this industry!

My birthday prezzie in advance!

HAVING TEST TOMORROW!

Ugh, please please please do very well and give a good impression!

Ok, should go study now.

See ya, babes.