Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Never be jealous of your partner's ex






Sigh, sometimes I feel this dilemma.
I'm so inspired to type a post or to say something but sometimes.. I keep backspace-ing or deleting.
I just can't, you know, it might cause problem or... I don't know man, I let it slip.
Sometimes, I feel like I want to be a "Elite Daily" or "Huffington" writer that I can write things.
Write things that can relate to people, to my readers.
Every single time I want to say something, I always HAVE to think twice.
I don't want to think twice, why? I have my rights and my freedom to say stuff (responsibly).
I'm a blogger, I'm a public figure, I post stuff publicly, you have the choice to read it or not.
There are times that I just decide not to give two shit.
I just do it without writing a script or having any preparation.
I just do it and it's usually bad, just like the video I did previously.
I can speak Mandarin fluently but I'm poor at expressing my thoughts, then I was misunderstood.
As a Gemini myself, I feel that I always explain, I like to explain to people.
I like to reason with people, I do not like fights or misunderstandings, I reason.
Come on, we are all civilized people.
I don't like drama, my friends and I don't have dramas because we don't do dramas.
I decided to ignore when I first knew about this.
I tried to let it slip but we heard something very bad of me about this issue today.
I felt that I'm being misunderstood and I want to have my say.
As I was typing this, I texted Jane and told her that "I'm very inspired, can I blog this?"
She has always been protective of me and she always told me to hide my thoughts.
It came to my surprise that she told me to go ahead and just remember to be neutral.
I was like "man, of course, thanks bro!"
I needed that push, I needed that confidence.






The title seems a little too full of myself because I used the word "jealous".
As you all might think that "you must have experienced this before, so you typed a post like this."
No, I mean in general, generally, I was jealous of my ex partner's ex girlfriend.
 Nobody's perfect you know, sometimes you get jealous, you care, you do it out of love.
I wasn't really a jealous girlfriend, I was more a bad tempered girlfriend, lol.

I'm very inspired to type this post because of this.





So just the other day, I was cleaning my room.
FYI, my room is really messy and my wardrobe is so full that I put my clothes on my bed.
(It's a great use for a double bed btw, lol.)
Just want you to know how cluttered my room is.
Anyway, I haven't cleaned my room for a very long time and I found this little drawer.
I put my expensive accessories in it and I found a small black box.
I was like "hmmm what is this?"
When I opened it up, I felt so warm at heart, I was surprised that I still keep it.
 Really lovely, awwwwww, it's a tiny music box, awwwww...
No, I "awwwww" not because I still can't let go of my ex.
I "awwwwww" because I feel this little gift is so special and precious.
It must have meant a lot to me that I put it in this drawer.
I was so inspired that I had to post it on my instagram, I said:
"When we were younger and we had no money, we actually gave the most meaningful gifts"
It's true, what I meant was how materialistic this world is becoming.
A gift is always a branded bag, branded bracelet, an iPhone, fancy stuff++.
Then I gave an example that he was eighteen and I was sixteen.
It's not that we had no money, wait, we really had no money.
We live on, like, hundred bucks weekly, monthly?
We used to make valentine's cards for each other, we poured our heart and soul into it.
I saw the Gucci bag my 2nd ex partner got me for birthday and I just looked at it.
No special feeling, because, it's a bag, ok, it's a Gucci bag, cool.
If someone now burns me a CD with his favourite songs or my favourites songs,
I'd probably wet my pants (not literally, just an exaggerated expression).
"Do you feel that repentance though?"
I actually meant that life is filled with repentance but we grow out of it.
We don't live in the past, time flies, we grow up.





This post caused problem because my ex boyfriend's girlfriend was furious about it.
Girlfriend went on a Facebook rant about me, I think, no, I HEARD.
Saying that I do not respect her and she also attacked me personally.
Personal attack 人生攻擊 is not cool, man, not cool.
If you think I want to steal your boyfriend, you make comments about it, well, cool..for you.
Totally unrelated, saying that I'm ugly and my personality is shit.
You don't know me, I have people who have known me for so long.
I'll let them judge themselves, hmmm, I can't please the whole wide world.
I don't want to start a drama but I always get judged starting a drama just because I'M A BLOGGER.
You all memang prejudiced lah, don't do that.
I don't want to read what she wrote about me, I also don't want to know what she said about me.
But I know she said very very bad things about me, lol, oh well...
I meant, hi, I do not follow you, you do not follow me, I don't know you, you don't know me.
You and me, two girls, we have nothing to do with each other.
I don't even follow my ex boyfriend(her boyfriend) and I don't even stay in touch with him.
I respect them because now he has a girlfriend, we don't keep in touch.
I do not understand how and why did I come into the picture.
Well, the only thing I can think now is that she kinda stalked me?
Then, that's her problem or her friends' problem.
Cause her friends probably gossiped about it with her.
Tell them "no, I don't want to know shit about her!"
(Friends play a very huge part in situations like this, it's either 火上加油 or the other way round.)





These are the examples I'm using but I'm not talking about just her, I talk in general.
Just to clarify, I speak in general, including myself.
1. Trust your partner.
You probably go furious because you assume that they have something "undone".
Ok, even if, in this case, your boyfriend's ex still misses him.
If you trust your boyfriend enough, you wouldn't even give a damn about her.
Cause you know that he will be loyal to you and will never betray you.
There's another situation that he might have a bad history.
So, well, deal with your boyfriend, why are you mad at his ex?






2. Never disregard what your partner had with his/her ex.
This is the main point I want to get it out there.
I'd say that my ex boyfriend and I had been through difficult times.
I saw him not eating, sleeping well, not talking when he lost somebody so important.
I watched him recovering, healing from hurt, step by step.
I was with him when he had his first operation.
He had his very difficult times and so happened that I was in his life at that moment.
He was the one taking pictures of me when I had my first Holy Communion.
He was the first one who brought me to the parks for walks.
He was also in my life when I was at my lowest, when I lost everything, when I had nothing.
Yes, we had bad times, we also had wonderful times.
He had seen the worst of me.
But those are what we HAD, not what we have.
He's such a pain in the ass because he had been giving me problems
even after we had broken up for years.
His ex girlfriend before this current girlfriend hated me as well (we're in good terms).
Yes, sometimes, I think back at it, you know, I'd be a little sentimental but no, it's the past.
Those are good memories, I miss the good memories, I miss him as a part of my memories.
Yeah, you might not go through the same thing with your partner like 
what your partner had gone through with his or her ex.
Accept it, accept what they had, respect what they had.






3. Think about what your partner has done right, done specially for you,
not what he/she had done for his/her ex.
Ok, I'm going to use this as an example again, but I hope they don't get offended or whatever.
He might have done this and that with me but he had never gotten me Cartier ring.
Last I know, he got them a pair of Cartier rings right after they got together.
Well, that's very nice, that's very sweet.
You know, rings are no joke, rings resemble a commitment.
So yeah, there you go, should I be jealous in this case then? No.


Another situation, I sometimes would be jealous and go like
"Have you done this with her? Have you been here with her?"
If the answer is yes, and I mind, then
"Ok, I don't want to come here anymore, let's explore new places!" :)
If I don't mind at all, then ok, let's dine here,
this restaurant is not opened just for my partner and his ex,
this park doesn't belong to my partner and his ex.






4. Do not compare yourself to your partner's ex.
Guys, don't point fingers at girls for comparing.
Guys do it a lot too.
People always say don't compare.
Somehow, I think comparing has its good and bad.
Just don't overdo it.

My ex once told me
"My ex girlfriend doesn't throw tantrum like you"
I was like "HORHHHHH, NOW YOU'RE COMPARING?!"
But then, I would think to myself
"Ok, I want to be better, I shouldn't throw tantrum like this anymore."

My ex also once told me
"My ex girlfriend has never done this to me before, thanks for the surprise."
I would feel like "fuuuuuaaa, now only you know that I'm good."
You know, you feel proud about it.





5. You're responsible for your own insecurities.
"Will he cheat on me?", "Is she sleeping with him?", "Is she still missing my man?"
You're responsible for your own insecurities, do not put it on your partner.
It's also your partner's responsibility to make you feel secured, I know, I know.
Yeh, but you're greatly responsible for it because,
if you do not trust him/her, you do not believe in the both of you,
you're not going to listen to every single shit he/she has got to say.
Ask yourself, why? Is your partner not doing enough or are you just thinking too much?

I guess the situation would be better given if I'm taken.
Too bad, I'm forever alone, so, some might feel that I still miss their boyfriend.
No, my dark knight is still on his way, not efficient, patient lah sikit.





6. The past is the past, let it go.
This sounds really cliche but yeah...
Look around you, he/she is now here with you.
He/she is sleeping next to you.
He/she is kissing you on the forehead and tell you good night.
Don't take it for granted.






I'm sorry for the overflowing sentiments but you gotta respect me that I have feelings too.
I'm a sentimental person and I'm also very 念舊.
I miss the memories and I'd say that what I had with my ex partners were all special.
It's not possible to scrape my ex boyfriends off my life, they helped me grow.
They were in different phases of my life.
I would write things about them, I might write songs about them.
(Wow, so now I want to be Taylor Swift? Lol.)
They inspired me, still inspire me because we had the love.
Love is a strange thing, it makes you feel.
It's the same as pain, quoting John Green,
"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."
Same thing as love, it demands to be felt.
Past or present, you had it or you have it.
It's something indescribable and one should never disregard "LOVE".

You're not happy about it, then just don't give a damn about me.
I don't know you, you don't know me, we have absolutely nothing to do with each other.
I don't know what it's gonna be, what kinda problem I'm gonna cause after typing this post.
There are consequences to bare with but I guess it's worth the risk.





Saturday, July 26, 2014

What contact lens do I wear?








One of the most frequently asked questions on my blog, FB and Instagram is
What contact lens do you wear?
Firstly, I do not wear poor quality lens.
I'm introducing to you, the first cosmetic lens, Lacelle by Bausch+Lomb
 which is now available in Malaysia.











I've been wearing Bausch+Lomb for a long time now.
I used to wear Bausch+Lomb clear lens to school and to work ;
Cosmetic lens for hangouts, dates and parties.
I like Bausch+Lomb for the high water content and good quality that never give me dry eyes.


Anyway, more introduction on Lacelle lens...
Their unique lace patterns help enhancing our eyes beautifully.
Their marathon like comfort is the most impressive to me.
They are also FDA authenticated pigment standard.
They are monthly disposable.
Lacelle comes in two different ranges :
Limbal series, comes in modest brown and tender brown.
Color series, available in jubilee violet, sparkling brown and frozen grey.


My favourite colours for Lacelle lenses are
Sparkling Brown and Jubilee Violet







I used to wear poor quality lenses, like the ones you can easily get online.
It's not certified and it's poor in quality.
The Chinese have a saying : The eyes are the windows to human souls.
It's lucky to be able to see this beautiful world with a pair of God given eyes.
Eyes are important to us and we should really take care of them.
Guess I was a bad-behaved child who always stayed close to the TV.
I'm seriously short-sighted.

Comfortable contact lenses are very important to me.
42% of water content, that's what I'm talking about.
Wearing Sparkling Brown in these pictures.







Look better with cosmetic lens and feel good without dry eyes all day (:








Was also just wearing Jubilee Violet the other day.
Make up smudged after a long day spent in the studio, but eyes were still moisturized!










As I always share good things with you all, here's another one.
Lacelle by Bausch+Lomb is looking for the "Face of Lacelle" and this is where you come in:

1. Go to Lacelle #wow truck at these locations.
Please find your nearest locations here.
www.facebook.com/lacellemy
YOU WILL GET A FREE PAIR OF LACELLE LENS!

2. Join "Face of Lacelle" photo contest and win weekly prizes!
RM500 Fashion Fast Forward vouchers and RM150 Sephora vouchers.
 The grand prize winner will be the first Lacelle ambassador in Malaysia!
The winner will walk away with RM1000 cash, a 4D3N trip to Hong Kong and
a one-year supply of Lacelle cosmetic lens!

You're welcome :)




Monday, July 21, 2014

We're on each other's TEAM


Picture credit to Eric Ho, at Lorde's concert in Sydney July 2014.





Everyone has heard of the famous song "Royals" by Lorde.
I know it's overplayed on the radio.
Still, the message of this song hasn't really gotten out to people (Maybe it did).
People mostly listen to catchy tune nowadays than feeling and comprehending what the song is about.
People listen to songs radio stations are feeding them.
Sometimes I wish to be a radio DJ, so I get to play more good songs to people, lol.
I listen to love songs a lot, indie pop, indie rock, folk, acoustic...
Most musicians write about love nowadays.
It's reasonable, it's explainable, it's related to us, it's so close to heart.
We need musicians like these to spread love and to heal broken hearts.
We absolutely need more musicians like Lorde too.





Some listened to "Royals" and asked "wtf is she talking about?"
"I've never seen a diamond in the flesh, I cut my teeth on wedding rings in the movies."
It's deep, so deep that you don't understand, so deep that you need to study her words.
This is my comprehension on the first few lines of this song
"I've never seen a diamond in the flesh"
She grew up in a humble town that she has never experienced a luxurious lifestyle
where you see diamonds or even diamonds in the flesh.
"Cut your teeth" is an idiom meaning that you are being introduced to something new,
your first experience on something.
"I cut my teeth on wedding rings in the movies."
She only knew about wedding rings(diamonds) through watching movies.
"I'm not proud of my address, in a torn up town, no postcode envy."
As I said, she lives in a humble town, nothing fancy.

Go along with this direction that I gave you, read the lyrics and listen to the song.
You will get it.




People are chasing after luxurious lifestyle, being considered a "good life".
I really want to make a vlog explaining this song and talk about materialism.
I'm just not fit for this discussion, even if I don't chase after a luxurious lifestyle.
Being a social networker, blogger, I will not survive if my life is not "interesting".
It's contradicting, it's hypocritical.
No matter how low profile I want to be, I can't.
I make a living by flaunting whatever that's considered "cool" or "appealing" to people.
Yes, I feel lucky, being like this is good enough and I'm thankful for it.
I'm not famous to get too much hate.
I also get to influence a tiny group of people with my beliefs.
What I really want to do is to get good music out there.
Who knows I might get to produce great music in the future, that's my dream.




 Anyway, sorry for the overflowing inspiration.
I'm just very inspired by Lorde, she made me look myself in the mirror.
I also got the chance to meet her earlier this month, I'm still not over it.
Shout out to Universal Music Malaysia, you guys are awesome!
Lorde introduced me to her mum too, wowwwwwwwwww.
*mind blown*
She's so sincere, she's very sincere.
I treasure and appreciate sincerity, it's something so rare nowadays.




Again, I wasn't born with a good voice and my vocal just can't make it.
The pitch range is so wide, I don't have a deep voice and I can't reach a high pitch too.
Sorry for the disappointment but not sorry, lol.
I'm greedy, I want to share not just one but two songs.
My favourites are actually Glory and Gore, Team, 400 Lux though but
this is what we came up with under *circumstances*.
Kang Er makes a living teaching music, sometimes I just don't want to take up too much of his time.
I feel lucky to have him as a singing partner and I appreciate his passion for music too.
Poor thing, I "tortured" him to learn these two songs in a morning.
 Big thumbs up for my singing buddy here!
Well, at least we came up with something and we did it live again! (:
Hope you like the little verse arrangement we did in between.


Support good music, get Lorde's awesome tune on iTunes and Spotify:
 (selling point only $4.99 for limited time from 14 -31 July)










Friday, July 18, 2014

For world peace






How did I first find out about MH17?
Natalie sent a message to group chat breaking the news to us.
I was so hesitant and asked my girl friends to hang in there, let me check, let me check.
I turned on the TV, it was all over CNN and BBC.
My heart just sank.


It's confirmed with 298 people on board, not 295.





Then, I posted this status.
Is my Chinese that bad? Why can't people understand what I was saying?
I guess I should remove this as well for further misunderstanding =,=







I was really upset with Malaysian media and some Malaysians about the Kiki incident yesterday.
(Look back at it, how stupid, insane and ridiculous this Kiki incident is.)
Don't you think there's so many more important things to be cared about?
I thought this country is so sick that I want to give up on it.
Then, this TRAGEDY happened, not blaming MAS but (yeh, I blame the party
who is responsible for this "attack", still no clue if it was a terrorism act or.. a misfire, I don't know)
Listened to the sound clip aired on CNN about a phone call of someone reporting to their official
that they shot a plane down and realized that it was a civilian plane! My goodness.
All we can do now, is, wait.
I realized that I've always loved my country and will always love my country.
No matter what happens, Malaysia is still Malaysia.
To us, it's home, we can't give up on our country.
This tragedy will forever leave a mark for us Malaysians and make us stronger.
Does anybody get what I was trying to say?





This is my personal Facebook profile.
世事無常, look what can happen in just 4 hours of time.





One of my best friends from high school.
Her mum was on MH370 flight.
We used to go to the same church, a religious.
She hasn't found her mum, nothing, no answers, her mum just vanished.
I don't know how these families are holding on, I'm sorry.
I feel very sad, very very sad, it's hurting me, hurting everyone.
Why? Why is this happening?





I was also guilty of a tweet when I was eagerly waiting for Malaysian media to report about it.
CNN and BBC stopped their on going programmes and were reporting on it.
They were all in English, my mum was telling me to flip to Malaysian channels for Chinese news.
I kept flipping on TV1, TV2, TV3, NTV7, 8TV, nothing was on until 12am.
I later deleted the tweet because I was guilty of spreading negativity. GUILTY.
I said "Nothing on Malaysian media yet. Same old trick. It's all over CNN and BBC."
(Malaysian media, I meant the TV.)
TV3 then talked about it for about 20 seconds and went back to Kiki incident
while CNN and BBC are showing us maps and routes.




Many always asked me why did I come back.
I always tell them that "I love Malaysia".
There's the "but", still, yes, I love my country.
There are times that I feel this country is hopeless, that I just want to give up.
However, Malaysia will always be home.
For those who b*tch about me coming back with an accent,
just so you know, at least I AM HOME, I AM HERE,
I will never forget my root, my mothertongue (which is Chinese).
My accent might have changed but my root, my culture, my belief will never be changed.




Quoting Prime minister Najib's speech/official statement
"This is a tragic day in what has already been a tragic year for Malaysia."
 "The flight's passengers and crew came from many different countries, but today,
regardless of nationality, we're all united in grief."

Keep spreading love, it's tough but we will and we must recover.




 It's not just a hard time for Malaysia or countries that are involved.
So many innocent lives were killed.
I always wanted to blog about the war between Gaza and Israel.
So many innocent lives were killed and are being killed.
I do not know how to help. All I can do is spreading love.
I've been reading articles about the war.
At first I thought that Israel is at fault.
Then, I read both sides of the stories.
I can't tell what is happening, what is the truth, what I know is what the media is feeding me.
I've always cared about national and international issues but I just don't share much.
Cause I don't even know what is right and what is wrong.
I'm a tiny media influencer in Malaysia and I need to be careful with what I say.
I just really hope that the war would stop.






We are all sinners, God.
Please save us all, God.





Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Watch it before I remove it






I always wanted to make this video but I only had the courage to do it today.
I can't really deal with hate, as you all know that I really despise mean people.
As a blogger, social networker myself, hate is unavoidable.
Sometimes when I receive mean comment, I'll just leave it and ignore it.
Sometimes, I would reply in a sarcastic way, to let them know that it's not nice cyber bullying.
If I think it's too much of hate, I'll delete it.
Anyway, I still made this video today.
I use Mandarin because it's related to a Chinese website.
I'm good at Mandarin, I'm just bad at expressing my thoughts in Mandarin.
So, those smartarses who try to diss my Mandarin speaking.........



I will sure contradict myself in this video.
Cause my friends are famous and shit, they are on the lists all the time.
I tried to speak up for girls, but no, I only speak up for most of the girls.
It also got a lil personal at the back where I know that I would be misunderstood.
I'm sorry that it got personal, I know that guy PERSONALLY and I dislike him a lot.
Haha, I'm sorry but not sorry.



I really want to just share this social message.
As you all know that, I always encourage people to share love on my blog.
I have no intention for hate, making this video.
I also have no intention of being famous or whatsoever.
You know, the internet is scary, people will probably twist my words.
If I ever want to be famous, I hope it's for music, not for anything else.
So yeah, it's pretty surprising, this video is being shared.
Yes, I will also remove it if it gets out of hand.
My intention is not for it to go viral.
You all know me, man.
I always remove stuff that goes out of hand because I know I can't handle it.
I know some of you faithful readers are going to complain that
"I haven't watched it!", "I really want to watch it!"
Lol, so, that's why, people, follow my blog on iMotiv or whatever, hahaha!
Yeh, so watch it before I remove it.


This social message being delivered well is all that matters.
Thanks!