Monday, June 22, 2015

Diary : Better


I am to remember this day.





It seems like I haven't been blogging but I've typed so many articles and some random posts.
Some are drafts, some are deleted.
I decided to publish this random one.

It was the day before my birthday this year.
Liza just came back from the US in the morning.
Natalie just got back from HK.
Leng and Nana rushed from work.
They were there to celebrate birthday for me, to make me feel special.
I like to have Chinese dinner for birthday because we get to sit together.
A round table, so we can see each other and talk.
A symbol of unity too.
Dinner was great and we left to Leonardo's for wine.



It was one of the best nights.
We sat down and we talked for hours.
 
My shoulders are heavy.
I have very high expectation of myself.
Never for others but for and of myself.
I'm hard on myself, as supposed, that's what they always say.
My mind always has the right ideas, wise decisions, smart answers
but my heart acts... weird.
It's not just my past relationship but my family, my work.
I feel that I'm incompetent at work.
I feel that I have to take all the responsibilities as a good daughter.
 I think for others and I care a lot for their feeling.
I easily feel worthless and incapable, I don't know why.


I was waiting for something to hit me, hit me, so I'll wake up and buck up.
It was that night, I think, I think.
Girls poured their heart, I poured mine.
The patience they offered, the faith they have in me, are tremendous.

  I'm better, so much better.
I'm so positive lately, everyone can sense it, can feel it.
I caught myself smiling at nothing just driving.
That's when I know that I'm happy on my own!
 



Time is the key.
I'm taking too long but I'm getting there.




Thursday, June 11, 2015

剪了 甘願了





I always cut my hair or trim my hair.
As I mentioned before, hair cutting makes me feel fresh.
It's like a reset button, it makes me feel like I can start afresh.
I have no idea why, I just feel so.
I've trimmed my hair for a couple of times since last year.
Trying to feel strong, I don't know why, my mind is playing with me, lol.
I keep resetting once I feel like I'm failing, heh.
I always want to try having short hair.
First thing, the man I loved used to love me with long hair, he told me not to cut it.
Second thing, I asked 10 of my friends, 10 told me not to cut it, heh.
I think it's just so "daphne" again.
Didn't plan to cut it but I do what I want to do.
I'm always like that, stubborn as hell, a true Gemini.
After hair washing and hair treatment, I was about to walk out of Editor Salon.
Then, I felt like it, so I sat back down and told my hairstylist Chefuu to chop my hair off.

Vain pictures before I chopped dem off.






Heh, I don't know why I filmed this but... I just did.
A lot of vain footages because I don't have enough footages to squeeze in, lol.









Where did I get this haircut inspiration?
It started from a French actress, Léa Seydoux.
 Google her images, seems like all hairstyles suit her so well.
I guess it's just the face, she's too hot.




 I like the straight cut because I have thick hair.
I was thinking that it might look stylish for me.
So, I ditched the layer cut and went for the straight cut.





Surprisingly, I really love my new haircut.
All thanks to Chefuu too.
I was like "Chef, don't disappoint me,"
He did it so carefully and professionally.
 The important thing is that he knows what I want.



男生都覺得長髮的女生比較漂亮 高雅 比較有女人味
我問了十個男生朋友 十個都要我別剪
很多都說我已經沒人追沒追求者 再剪個短髮 更沒有人要追了
我一直都不敢剪 而且前男友贊我長髮漂亮要我別剪 我牢記在心 lol loser
想說 woman! 頭髮是你的 剪不剪 你自己決定 瀟灑一點 頭髮會長的(雖然真的要等很久 哭)
一個人如果喜歡你 長髮短髮都會一樣愛 呵

現在剪了 甘願了







Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Marvellous Creations





No introductions of Cadbury chocolate are needed for Malaysians.
It is the best selling chocolate brand in the country.
Giving happiness since 1905.
It's supplied from Cadbury's chocolate factory in Shah Alam.

Last Saturday, I was invited to the Marvellous Creations Carnival.
I was told that Cadbury was introducing the new Cadbury Marvellous Creations.
I immediately said yes to joining this carnival.
It's Cadbury, my mum loves Cadbury and our fridge never runs out of Cadbury chocolate.
I also wanted to get the new flavours back for my mum to try.



 I arrived at Sunway Pyramid at 11 in the morning.
I saw securities and body guards everywhere, I knew that Cadbury must have invited a VIP.
I didn't know until the fans started flooding the venue.
IT WAS DATO SITI NURHALIZA.
 Wow, I was starstruck, it was my first time seeing her in real life.
All Malaysians adore her.



Then, I remember I saw her in the Cadbury commercial on TV.
Ahhhhh, she's really elegant and lovable.



Let's get the carnival started!
*confetti confetti*



Cadbury doin' it right.
This is what you call a carnival.
BALLOONSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
So magical, it's really a "Marvellous Creation".




Back to the point.
The two new variants of Cadbury Dairy Milk Marvellous Creations:
1.Jelly Popping Candy
Jelly, Candy Bits and Popping Candy covered in Cadbury Dairy Milk milk chocolate.
2.Peanut Toffee Cookie
Peanut and Toffee Cookie Bits covered in Cadbury Dairy Milk milk chocolate.

I really love the Jelly Popping Candy but
I think I prefer Peanut Toffee Cookie because I like to have my chocolate with nuts.
Not only the texture of Cadbury chocolate is smooth and creamy
but the ingredients they use are great quality stuff.
I like how my chocolate bar is filled with lotsa nuts and lotsa candy.
The Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate bars are always filled generously with different fillings.



Karen and I, going through our goody bag.




Do you know that I've known Karen since forever?
She was my senior in school, we used to hang out every week.
I was so happy to see her there and we kinda relived our childhood moments.
Thanks to the Marvellous Creations Carnival.
This is really how it is, we used to play this at the theme park in Times Square, hahaha!
Super fun!






Just our feet!





I really really really love the balloons.
A carnival experience is never complete without balloons.
The wonderment of Marvellous Creations world is complete, it is complete with the balloons.
I was like "Karen, let's go swim in that pool of balloons!"
I think some onlookers thought we were crazy.
Hey, I'm still kiddy at heart, that's how you don't grow old.





Then, there were kids who started throwing balloons at us and playing with us, lol.



Totally selfie-worthy.




Fun games all around, we tried every single game.
 That smile though...




Life can be hectic when you grow up.
Sometimes, we forget about the little things that make us happy.
A Cadbury chocolate bar could make the happiest kid when I was younger.
I'm surprised that it still does, wait, I'm not actually surprised.
I'm just being reminded of this innocent, pure, simply unbridled happiness.
Thanks Marvellous Creations for that!


Late Night Thoughts : The Fight





Wow, I haven't updated my blog for more than 2 weeks now.
I was sick and it was my birthday week.
I didn't expect to have crazy celebrations because you know...?
I'm 低調(D調)(low-profile), lol lol lol.
My crazy friends threw me a surprise party 2 days after my birthday.
I don't know how many times I shedded tears of joy.
They think it's entertaining, lol.
Thanks again, my friends.
Incredible friends, best friends in the world.
I was like what did I do to deserve this.
Haha, ok, I'll give myself some credit, maybe because I've been a good friend too, heh.



I never thought people would love me...quite a lot.
Well, except for my parents... and Jane?
I never expected them to make such effort to show me that I'm worthy.
I never expected and I think it's because I've always been the nice one.
I believe in everything people say and I've never believed in myself.
This is what I've learnt since last few weeks.
I learnt that just because people give my shit doesn't mean that I should take that shit.
Lol, good enough explanation?
Sometimes, I just don't understand why I always take shit from other people.
I can just reject that shit, I don't know why I always accept that shit.
It's a lot on the mind.
It's your belief, your self confidence.
The ability to control your emotions.
I failed miserably.


I don't want to take shit from anybody anymore.
Gotta work on that self confidence, gotta work on it.

Sometimes I really just don't know what I'm fighting and only I realized that
I'm constantly beating myself down for no apparent reason.
It's a fight between my mind and heart.
It's nauseating.










Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Daphne Charice - Habits (Tove Lo)



My favourite hoodie to wear when I'm sick, lol.
Look at the breakouts man, lazy to edit.
Authentic unedited photobooth picture, lol!


It seems like I've been falling sick easily since last year.
It's totally different this time.
It was really sudden and there were no symptoms at all.
I'm that type who doesn't like going to the doctor.
Just let my own immune system fight, that's what it's for.
I always just let it recover on its own.
This time is pretty fancy.
I got a virus infection, so fancy, a virus infection.
I thought that virus infection is a fancy name for having a fever, lol.


So yeah, I thought it was just a fever, caught a cold or something.
I went to bed early, drank water, peed throughout the whole night, lol.
I thought it'd be better but I woke up with a swollen face.
Man, scared the crap outa me, I sure didn't experience a swollen face before today.
My body was burning, especially my face.
So, I kept drinking water, did a SKII mask, lol, just to cool myself down.
It wasn't helping.
The lymph node thing, learnt a thing or two from biology in high school.
My jaw was swollen and I was in pain.
Ahhhh, that's what you get taking your body for granted, agony.




Just only finished my last antibiotic.
Don't seem to have recovered yet, mainly because I haven't been resting.
I've been out everyday.
Project Space turned 5 months old, we had a dinner together.
We never celebrated since Space opening.
So, I got this dinner thing planned before I fell so sick.
I also planned to sing in Space with Kang Er on my birthday week but I don't think it's happening.
Went to see Martin Garrix because I promised my friends.
Didn't have quality rest, that's why I'm recovering slow.


My throat is sore and I haven't stopped coughing.
It was so bad that I coughed till 6 in the morning and missed a morning run with Jane and Ash.
Ahhhh, sickness, it does kinda freak me out now.
Plus the idea of not being able to sing......
It feels like my vocal cords have been permanently damaged, lol.
Being sick, being unable to do anything at all.


Lol, typed this yesterday but didn't publish it.
Today I got home, I felt like making a song cover.
Yeh, my throat is still super sore but....
Idk, whatever, keep it real, lol.